They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I hope so because this post will mainly be pictures. I tried a trick of loading all the pictures first but I loaded them backwards so pretend the pictures at the end with Jax in his survivor clothes are at the beginning--Thanks for pretending! Friday night to Saturday was the Relay for Life Cancer walk. Courtney organized a team with Jackson as our "Survivor" I was looking forward to the Relay this year because last year Jackson and I had to talk at the opening ceremonies and that was very hard for me, and him too I think. So this year I thought I would just sit back and enjoy. I started getting that "yikes" feeling about 2 days before the Relay. I don't know what it is. I feel so many emotions at this event and I cry and cry when I first get there. I feel guilty that Jax ever was sick to begin with--like maybe a good mother could have prevented it (don't tell me it's irrational, I'm rational enough to KNOW it's irrational!)I feel guilty and soooo blessed that I get to have my child as a survivor and other mothers don't have their children anymore. I remember so many times where I watched Jackson be "tortured" times that caused him so much physical pain that I cry and cry just remembering those days. I remember he would start crying when we would turn on the street where the hospital was. Every time I would park the car in the lot he would start saying " No Mommy, please I don't want to, it hurts please Mommy don't make me". It killed me to pry him out of the car and carry him crying into the building to get his port accessed. Then we would always go to Arby's to wait for his lab results which we would have to have before he could have his Chemo administered. I hated those days and it all comes back to "haunt" me at Relay time. I know that I should just feel so grateful for the fact that he got that help and that he is in his eighth year of remission and TRUST me I am. I guess it is o.k. to be really sad for this cause this year the Othello Relay had a goal of raising $60,000 dollars and $102,000 was raised!! So from the bottom of my heart thank you to all of you who donated and who came and walked. And to all of you who have supported us and helped us with our boy all these years---you will never know (I hope) how much the prayers, love, and support saved us.
About five minutes into the car ride home I looked back and the girlies were "Gone"!
I didn't have to look to know Jax was out,he was snoring to beat the band! Mind you he didn't even stay all night!
Carter and Zoe danced the pants off the carebears. Better them than me I always say!
Two pretty amazing men. Cute too!
Our fearless leader. Courtney and Matt did so much work to pull this off. Matt even turned himself into a human cotton candy man. They sold alot of cotton candy and it is NOT fun to make. They were so unselfish to take this all on. Thank you -- our lately formed team pulled off an impressive $850.00 (I think?!) not bad for a first year team!
Jackson getting his "survivor" medal. Last year his survivor medal hung on a decorative shelf in my dining room for a few months. One day I was cleaning (literally it was 1 day last year that I cleaned!!) and I moved the medal to his room on his shelf. That same night it was back in my dining room hanging up! So that is where it will stay along with this new one. Jax never says much about all this cancer "stuff" so I have to take those non-verbal clues he sometimes gives me.
The MAN on his survivor lap--very emotional, for me at least.
Zoe, Avery, and Carter at the opening ceremony, we are all looking pretty awake and not too grumpy at this point.
Debra, Jackson, and Dana three awesome Royal City survivors.
Jackson had the inspired idea to take his last year survivor shirt, cut it up and make himself a survivor headband. I think it looks awesome. He is the youngest survivor at this event by about 25 years or so. He stuck really close to Michael and I this year, we aren't really sure why. I asked him if he liked and it said he really, really does yet he wouldn't spend the night or leave my side? Any armchair psychologists out there?? He is a good boy, and I am so glad my son is a survivor of this hideous disease.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I hope so because this post will mainly be pictures. I tried a trick of loading all the pictures first but I loaded them backwards so pretend the pictures at the end with Jax in his survivor clothes are at the beginning--Thanks for pretending! Friday night to Saturday was the Relay for Life Cancer walk. Courtney organized a team with Jackson as our "Survivor" I was looking forward to the Relay this year because last year Jackson and I had to talk at the opening ceremonies and that was very hard for me, and him too I think. So this year I thought I would just sit back and enjoy. I started getting that "yikes" feeling about 2 days before the Relay. I don't know what it is. I feel so many emotions at this event and I cry and cry when I first get there. I feel guilty that Jax ever was sick to begin with--like maybe a good mother could have prevented it (don't tell me it's irrational, I'm rational enough to KNOW it's irrational!)I feel guilty and soooo blessed that I get to have my child as a survivor and other mothers don't have their children anymore. I remember so many times where I watched Jackson be "tortured" times that caused him so much physical pain that I cry and cry just remembering those days. I remember he would start crying when we would turn on the street where the hospital was. Every time I would park the car in the lot he would start saying " No Mommy, please I don't want to, it hurts please Mommy don't make me". It killed me to pry him out of the car and carry him crying into the building to get his port accessed. Then we would always go to Arby's to wait for his lab results which we would have to have before he could have his Chemo administered. I hated those days and it all comes back to "haunt" me at Relay time. I know that I should just feel so grateful for the fact that he got that help and that he is in his eighth year of remission and TRUST me I am. I guess it is o.k. to be really sad for this cause this year the Othello Relay had a goal of raising $60,000 dollars and $102,000 was raised!! So from the bottom of my heart thank you to all of you who donated and who came and walked. And to all of you who have supported us and helped us with our boy all these years---you will never know (I hope) how much the prayers, love, and support saved us.
About five minutes into the car ride home I looked back and the girlies were "Gone"!
I didn't have to look to know Jax was out,he was snoring to beat the band! Mind you he didn't even stay all night!
Carter and Zoe danced the pants off the carebears. Better them than me I always say!
Two pretty amazing men. Cute too!
Our fearless leader. Courtney and Matt did so much work to pull this off. Matt even turned himself into a human cotton candy man. They sold alot of cotton candy and it is NOT fun to make. They were so unselfish to take this all on. Thank you -- our lately formed team pulled off an impressive $850.00 (I think?!) not bad for a first year team!
Jackson getting his "survivor" medal. Last year his survivor medal hung on a decorative shelf in my dining room for a few months. One day I was cleaning (literally it was 1 day last year that I cleaned!!) and I moved the medal to his room on his shelf. That same night it was back in my dining room hanging up! So that is where it will stay along with this new one. Jax never says much about all this cancer "stuff" so I have to take those non-verbal clues he sometimes gives me.
The MAN on his survivor lap--very emotional, for me at least.
Zoe, Avery, and Carter at the opening ceremony, we are all looking pretty awake and not too grumpy at this point.
Debra, Jackson, and Dana three awesome Royal City survivors.
Jackson had the inspired idea to take his last year survivor shirt, cut it up and make himself a survivor headband. I think it looks awesome. He is the youngest survivor at this event by about 25 years or so. He stuck really close to Michael and I this year, we aren't really sure why. I asked him if he liked and it said he really, really does yet he wouldn't spend the night or leave my side? Any armchair psychologists out there?? He is a good boy, and I am so glad my son is a survivor of this hideous disease.
7 comments:
Wow! I too get tears and very emotional when I participate in the Moses Lake Relay for Life. It is such an awe moment when you see that survivor lap. I admire your strength (and Faith) that got you through those days you were speaking of. It's Jackson's story and other survivors that make so many want to participate (and donate) in this amazing cause. Kudos to your team and team captain for all the money you raised. Woohoo!
You are an amazing woman, Becky. I wish I could have been there to witness all the goodness and emotions. And that headband is awesome!
Thanks for making me bawl in the middle of the day...it's not even that time of the month!! We are so proud of all of you...wish we could be there to help...we are there in spirit...I hope you know that. Way to go Jackson!! We love you. LOVE the headband!
I'm glad he is in remission and you don't have to deal with all those appointments anymore- that would have been so hard and so sad. Kudos to Matt and Courtney for organizing their part! How nice.
Way to go guys! I am very proud of you. Wish I could've been there. Miss you lot's! Jackson- you are a great kid- I'm glad my boys have you to look up to.
Can we please plan the next family reunion during Relay for Life. That way we can all participate. It would be quite the bawl fest, I'm sure:-) We love you Jax and are pretty glad you're still around!
Thats a great idea Brenda, only we have to make Becky get all the tears out before she reaches the track. The survivor lap is pretty emotional though, I have a hard time with that. I can't figure Jackson out either Becky. I noticed his "clinging" too. However, I really enjoyed the laps he and I did together, he either had his arm around me or holding onto my arm-I loved that. We are so lucky to have him around!!
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