Thank You

I am one thankful woman. I really have been wanting to put this post up for exactly one week but literally haven't sat down to this computer long enough to do so. Two weeks ago Jax had a routine endocrinologist appointment in Spokane. Michael came with us, I like him to come once a year to prove I really do have a husband! Michael and I asked to talk to the Doctor alone and shared with him some changes we have noticed in Jackson. We wanted to know if any of them could be attributed to the growth hormone or the lupron shots he gets. He said no, but that he would do a little investigating for us. He called back on my cell phone before we had even left Spokane that afternoon and said he had called and talked to Jackson's oncologist and that she(the oncologist) wanted us to call her office and set up an MRI because of some problems Histiocytosis patients are having years after treatment. So Thursday found Jax and I driving back to Spokane (2 hours one way) to Sacred Heart Children's Hospital where he spent the next 3 hours getting an IV accessed and having an MRI with contrast done. On Friday Michael answered the phone and it was our Oncologist's office. The nurse told him that they compared his new MRI to his old one from last year and that the Doctor and radiologist saw some changes and that they were working him into the special brain tumor clinic on Tuesday. Michael, kind of alarmed now, said they saw a brain tumor? The nurse realizing her mistake said I shouldn't have called it that---we just have a nuero-oncology team that meets the second Tuesday of every month and the Doctor feels it is important that they look at Jackson's MRI and meet with you all. So Michael called me and thus began five days of constant prayers. Some of you have faced this before, I can try to expain it but I don't even know if it is possible. Every waking second you are dwelling on it and praying. You can be making dinner and praying in your mind. Dressing and talking to Carter and my mind is praying for Jax. Think of any task that fills your day and you can do it and pray at the same time. It is so wonderful that when life brings us to our knees-- to know we can literally get on our knees and ask for help. Michael had been online and before I even got home that Friday he had printed off some articles explaining this new "phenomenon" of multi-syptom LCH patients presenting with CNS complications. Most of them had pituitary involvement like Jax did. They were finding brain tumors or even worse yet, a degenerating disease that left kids unable to walk, talk or even swallow. Yet even with all this scary information I knew as soon as Michael gave me the news that I would have to miss that appointment. I have been planning to go to Camp Casey with Samantha and her sixth grade class for a three day field trip. And of course it was Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I could have ducked out, or sent another in my place but I knew I needed to go with her. Life has so conspired that I have never attended a field trip with Sammi before. I either had a nursing baby or I was teaching school, and last year when they went to Seattle for a trip to the zoo I came down with Strep Throat the day before. I've always wondered if the year of Jackson's active cancer and Chemo was good or bad for Sammi, I may never know. But I had to go with her on this trip--I felt it. It was imperative that I "knew" I should be with Sammi because in over 100 doctor appointments for Jackson I haven't missed any. But Grandpa Kent and Uncle Matt went with Michael and Jax for this appointment and it was probably way more fun than just going with Mom and Dad. The service our family recieved in those five days was amazing. Tons of calls from friends to let us know they were praying and fasting for Jackson. Saturday night when I was up making 30 ice-cream cookie sandwiches for Sierra's end of school class party Ashlee, Kara, and Andrea (Allred) showed up at my door. They brought me a sweet book that all of their family had written sweet messages for us in. They did my dishes, washed my counters, massaged my neck and shoulders and feet!! ( Plus when I got home from Camp Casey it was to two dinners and a sparkling clean house! Thanks Courtney, Ashlee, Andrea, Christa, Lisa, Carly and Lesa!) I felt so spoiled and loved and blessed. And that night I slept. The next day was fast sunday at church and I felt filled with peace. I tried not to investigate that feeling to much(was it because he was fine, or that he had something they could treat, or was it just rest before the storm, you get the idea) and just to feel gratitude for it. I packed for Camp Casey kissed Jackson goodbye in the morning cried some more on Michael's shoulders (he has the best shoulders in the world, I couldn't do it without those shoulders) and left with Sammi. I had a few moments of tears and despair but never in front of Sammi or the girls in our group. And we had fun--I loved that trip I feel like I know her grade so much better and I love them all, what good kids. Tuesday Matt texted me "Jax o.k. will call later" Sammi said it was the highlight of Camp Casey for her---me too! The neuro-oncologist felt that any differences in the MRI's was due to the different quality of machine not a change in Jax. He did feel that the changes we are starting to see are of concern since this new problem is well--new. He has ordered two days worth of testing for Jax in Spokane this summer and has set another appointment to see Jax in October. It is actually some comfort to me that he will be watched more carefully. We didn't know that the future could hold more health problems and now we know to be more diligent. But considering what we thought this summer would hold, (surgery more chemo. ) we feel amazingly blessed. We also both feel that we were granted another miracle in our family. Thank you for praying for Jackson, thank you for telling us of your love and friendship. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We are so blessed.